Mothers agree on helping children with mental illness and their families

Liza Long is the author of the post, “I am Adam Lanza’s Mother,” that has gone viral in the few days following the mass murder that Mr. Lanza apparently committed at Sandy Hook Elementary School 14 December 2012. In it, Ms. Long—who obviously is not the deceased mother of Mr. Lanza—makes an important, impassioned, and strong case for focusing on mental health issues among children and youth. Here’s the beginning of that post.

In the wake of another horrific national tragedy, it’s easy to talk about guns. But it’s time to talk about mental illness.

Three days before 20 year-old Adam Lanza killed his mother, then opened fire on a classroom full of Connecticut kindergartners, my 13-year old son Michael (name changed) missed his bus because he was wearing the wrong color pants.

“I can wear these pants,” he said, his tone increasingly belligerent, the black-hole pupils of his eyes swallowing the blue irises.

“They are navy blue,” I told him. “Your school’s dress code says black or khaki pants only.”

“They told me I could wear these,” he insisted. “You’re a stupid bitch. I can wear whatever pants I want to. This is America. I have rights!”

“You can’t wear whatever pants you want to,” I said, my tone affable, reasonable. “And you definitely cannot call me a stupid bitch. You’re grounded from electronics for the rest of the day. Now get in the car, and I will take you to school.”

I live with a son who is mentally ill. I love my son. But he terrifies me.

Read the full post, Thinking the Unthinkable, at The Anarchist Soccer Mom.

Ms. Long’s post ignited quite a storm. First, it circulated widely. Of course, it gathered some inevitable controversy. Sarah Kendzior reviewed other posts by Ms. Long about her children and read them as presenting a negative family life. At least one other mother, Buffalo Mama, who had posted about her problems with a child who had emotional and behavioral disorders heard an appeal that rang true to her own concerns.

Ms. Long and Ms. Kendzior posted a joint statement about discussing help for families in need. I hope that conversation goes viral.

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